Writing Is Hard

It's funny to me how I sometimes flat-out forget things sometimes.

Like the fact that writing is HARD.

I am currently working on what will be my fourth published book, and there's this part of me that thinks, subconsciously perhaps, that by now I should have it all together. By now I should be able to sit down, stick my fingers on the keyboard, and produce something perfect the first time I try.

Ha!

Such a thing is never gonna happen.

But still, when it inevitably doesn't, I end up getting discouraged.

So I read two posts recently that slapped me upside the head (in a good way). I think everybody, writers or not, should read them:

Embrace That You Are Doing Something Hard (Natalie Whipple)

My Lack of Pixie Dust (Amanda Hocking)


WRITING IS HARD.

Don't get me wrong--there are high points where the words flow like music and the glowing reviews pour in and I'm busy in that way that makes me feel energetic instead of tired. And then there are times when every sentence is lifeless and the characters just glare at me, tapping their feet and waiting for better dialogue, and I want to tear my hair out and the clock on the wall ticks too loud and there's so much blank SPACE...on the page and in my head.

At times this journey is thankless, exhausting, and emotionally draining. I often wonder if I'm nuts for pursuing this dream, especially given the fact that I have a mental disorder that makes the whole independent author thing feel completely impossible sometimes. But I keep doing it, feeling like a failure the whole while because "success" is about as easy as swimming through wet cement.

HELLO. Writing is hard. Finishing a novel, even a crappy one, is an accomplishment. Heck, writing a decent essay or short story is an accomplishment.

I think I need to give myself more freedom to struggle...and more freedom to not feel bad or lesser or incompetent because I'm struggling.

And this could be applied to any area of life, not just writing. If you are struggling, remember that life is hard. Good things worth doing rarely come easily. Difficulty doesn't make you a failure. If anything, you're proving that you have the strength and bravery to keep going in the face of struggle. And that's really awesome.

...or the zombicorns will eat you. Just kidding. Kind of.

Don't give up!!

WIP Wednesday: Forcing Productivity

If you saw my previous tongue-in-cheek-but-actually-confessional post about actual productivity for many writers, you'll know why I was distressed after I took a good hard look at my own time set aside for "writing."

I had to come up with some kind of plan. Some incentive to keep me on the straight and narrow. Otherwise it would be internet forever and no books at all to show for it.

But, my inner self whines whenever I think this, I like writing rough drafts about as much as I like shoveling manure. On the other hand, I LOVE internet.

I had to do something! So I created a rule for myself that went into effect immediately.

NO INTERNET unless I've written at least 1 thousand words in the WIP. Per day. 

Writing is hard. But will write for internet!!!

BUT so far, it's working out pretty well. I grit my teeth and bang out the required lines, which produces a happy, glowing feeling inside. Once I'm finished, I triumphantly hit save, and then I can log onto Twitter and brag about my success. With this accomplished, I'm free to gleefully watch youtube videos about fainting goats and baby tigers. And chances are, since I got my creative juices flowing, I might just return to the WIP too.

Speaking of Works in Progress, I've returned to the nasty nasty MS that gives me fits. And I think I'm making headway!

* fireworks! applause! ice cream cake! *

The biggest push for me was a new and enthusiastic beta reader who is begging for more. Naturally, being the kind and generous soul that I am, I must write in order to put her out of her misery. * modesty * Annnnd with the writing comes sudden bursts of creativity.  It's really a lovely cycle.

So thanks for that, Rebecca :-D

Anybody else making headway with a WIP lately? What's YOUR secret to getting that creative drive back?

Speaking Up for SPEAK

If you're on Twitter, you're probably familiar with the controversy surrounding Laurie Halse Anderson's beautiful book SPEAK, the story of a girl who slowly goes silent after she is raped. I wanted to speak out myself about the importance of this story. I feel like I have a responsibility as a writer, as someone who suffered in silence, and as a Christian to take a stand on this issue.

First, this book helped change me.

I won't say it saved my life, because I was past that crisis when I read Speak, but the book deeply moved me and taught me and healed me all the same. It told a story that I had a part in. A story about marginalized people who are dying inside silently even as they are judged and misunderstood by those around them. It said things I couldn't say. And reading it changed me--this book made me stronger.

There are only a few books I can say that about. Speak is one of them. I have spent most of my life in pieces, and every once in a while I read a book that puts a few more of the fragments back together for me, a book that's like a window into a dark room or a hand reaching out to me in a crowd.

Speak is that kind of a book.

Censorship angers me anyway, but I am a devout Christian believer and the fact that this man is trying to ban this book in the name of God and my faith deeply saddens me. (I'll be honest and admit it doesn't surprise me, but it saddens me.)

This blog post isn't going to turn into a raw description of the horrors I experienced in regards to my own personal issues. I'm not ready to go there. I just wanted to say that the words of Laure Halse Anderson and provided such healing and such release for me--Wintergirls as well as Speak. It's not just about rape or eating disorders or specific things like that. These books speak out about being so hurt and torn and beaten down and lost and weak and silent that you don't know how to even cry out for help.

Speak has given abused, hurting, and silent teens a voice.

Veronica Roth says it so beautifully on her blog that I wanted to include an excerpt here. She says,


"The world is broken. No matter how much time you spend covering your eyes, and covering your children's eyes, the world will still be broken when you uncover them. And when I say the world is broken, I mean that bad crap is happening to people everywhere and people are doing terrible things everywhere. Do you want your kids to understand just how beautiful the grace of God is? Then they have to understand how crappy the world is. It's not just "a good idea." It's necessary."

All I can say to that is AMEN.

I wonder what Bible this fellow is reading, because it surely isn't mine. The Bible depicts a lot of brutal and hard things, sir. It doesn't shy away from the horrible, disgusting things that happen out there in a fallen, messed up world. You may want to cover your eyes and pretend it doesn't happen, but I can't. And I won't.

I've included links to the blog posts of two other lovely fellow writers who articulate all of this much much better than I do here:

C.J.'s post

Myra's post