The 10-Year-Old Writer

This past weekend, my husband and I drove up to Indiana for my cousin's wedding. I grabbed a random notebook out of a box of them I keep in the study so I could have something to write with on the drive up.

This notebook turned out to be an old one from my younger years ... and it was chock-full of hilarious stories, complete with weird drawings and misspellings.

We passed this lovely attraction on the way.

I thought I would share one of them. I was around 10-11 when I wrote this, and a terrible speller (I am still a terrible speller, but I am MUCH better at faking it now). I have kept all the spelling errors, as I think they add something to the ridiculousness of it all.

***

SPACE SETTLERS: THE DIARY OF SKY LUNARMOON

(a story by me, age 10-ish)

My notes are in red.

August 18, 2052

   Dear Diary,

   Hello, I am Sky Lunermoon oh my gosh, that name!, and you are my brand-new, battery-powered type writer diary. Apparently this was the best technology I could envision for 2052, LOL. Let me tell you about myself. I am 11 years old today. I have 2 brothers, Mark, 13, and Cris, 9. I also have 1 sister, Ivy, she's 16, and another sister on the way. I Mom had an ultrasound and knows for sure. This was the extent of my knowledge about "knowing you were pregnant" at age 10.  Also, I thought big families were cool, so my stories always included an army of siblings.
   Then there's Volb-35C (Volb for short) and Lunar\-J-5 (Jay for short). They're our robots. LOL. I was reading the story aloud, and this was the point where my husband started laughing hysterically. He didn't stop laughing for pretty much the whole thing, either.
   Next, pets. Rigal and Andrea are my cats (they're named for stars). Rigal is a boy, and Andrea a girl. Then, Meteorite, our German Sheperd [sic]. We call her Meter for short.
   And I'll call you something. Something like ... Georgia. Yes! I'm from Georgia, and I know a really nice lady named Georgia. You'll be my friend Georgia. I lived in Georgia. Don't think I knew any "nice ladies" named that, though...

August 20, 2052

   Dear Georgia,

    Dad is getting more power converters, so we can get another "sonar star trek" game for our gameroom. I can't wait! The only explanation I can offer is that I watched a lot of star wars and star trek at this age. Hence the "power converters."

August 24, 2052

   Georgia,

   We're moving! It's not that bad, 'cause Star, my best friend, is going with us! Her family wants to go to [sic], which I think is really good. There's someone for everyone. Jake, Star's brother, for Mark and Cris, Star for me, and Star's 17-year-old sister Konnie for Ivy. (And of course, thier [sic] mom and dad.)
  Were [sic] are we going? To Tordian, a warm distant planet. We will live in a house connected with a big base, like living in a mall. There will be stores to shop at and resterants [sic] to eat at. There will be a big greenhouse full of grass, plants, and animals, and will have a glass roof to let sunlight in. We can go there any time we want! This was pretty much my dream life as a child--a space station with greenhouses and a mall-like area where I could hang out with my friends.  

August 27, 2052

   It's a good thing the robots can help pack! It's so hard! But our main computer helps us and most things we have are programed to fold up really small. Got to go pack ... I guess at this point I got tired of the "dear Georgia" thing ... Also, I was very fond of exclamation points as a child, as you can see.

August 29, 2052

   Today we went to see our spaceship we'll travel in. It is very big, and in a cylinder shape. It has huge energie [sic] engines on the back. It's really nice inside, with comfy bedrooms, a navigator control room, a kitchen, and a sitting room with a hologram gameboard in it! Nope, I had no star wars influence AT ALL when it came to my imagination :) Also, a sitting room? What the heck. I also like the computer, it was nice!

September 7, 2052

   Dear Georgia,

   We have to wait for the rest of the convoy and the supply ships before we can leave for the other planet. I'm excited, but also sad, because I don't want to leave earth.

September 8, 2052

   Dearest Georgia,

   Star and I watched some 3-D TV. It was a really neat movie about laser guns and how they work. I'm glad we get to take all our TVs with us. Two things. 1) the future is now! 3-D TV in 2011! and 2) my siblings and I were weird, because we loved "educational TV" and watched Discovery channel stuff all the time.

September 12, 2052

   Oh, Georgia! Good grief, this is the lamest thing I've ever read. But then, I was totally prone to drama at that age.

   The supply ships are convoy are here! I'm really nervous and happy at once, because we leave two days from now!

September 13, 2052

   Nervous!!

September 14, 2052

   We leave to day [sic]! Oh, what lies ahead? That inky black expanition [sic, I meant expansion] of space and stars is scary. What does the future hold? This was my attempt at some kind of ending. Most likely I got bored with my space diary. Too bad I didn't keep writing about the journey itself, because I'm sure THAT would have produced some serious hilarity.

The cat is a sticker, BTW.

***

So there you have it. An authentic, ten-year-old Katie story. The notebook is full of little gems like this one.

The writing itself is fairly lame, even for my age, and my only defense is that I possessed the understanding of a typical 10-or-11-year-old's diary style and thus wrote accordingly. My actual short stories were at least a LITTLE better around this time. But anyway. 

Funny stuff!

Hoarding

The truth about me and ideas:

Sometimes I have a great idea.

But sometimes instead of writing it down in a story, I hoard the idea instead. It's like I'm afraid that if I use that idea, I'll never get another idea even half as good, so I have to save it for something special.

I didn't even realize I did this until a few years ago. And you know what?

It's not true. Not even remotely true.

I've discovered that when I use those great ideas, I get more of them.

Also, they turn into books! Yay for finished books!

Why do I have so little faith in myself sometimes?

Am I the only person that gets afraid they won't have any more good ideas?

Other Announcements:

I am hard at work on several projects, including a steampunk novelette/novella/something short. It has detectives. And airships. And mysteries.

AIRSHIPS, people!!!!

I'm wild about them.

I am also brainstorming for cover art for a previously-written book that I'm thinking about putting up on Amazon (also steampunk, well, sort of). I'm pretty excited about it. More information on these and other projects coming soon!

The Eternal Question

Maybe this never happens to anybody else. But it happens to me. Inevitably, someone who is offended by monsters, zombies, or other kinds of fantasy elements asks about my books ...

 

I just don't know how to explain my books to some people . . .

Captain Nemo ... and Show vs. Tell

Captain Nemo has requested that I give him an eye patch because it will make him look "awesome."

According to TVTropes, this eye patch will insinuate that he is "either 1) an experienced combatant or 2) secretly a badass." I think it is an attempt at subterfuge, since he is in reality a ninja, the sworn enemy of pirates.

I haven't decided if I like it or not.

Captain Nemo with his requested eye patch.

I also wanted to share this link with you. This article gives an excellent look at the old adage "Show, Don't Tell," which I have long felt was over-simplistic advice that clearly didn't apply to a lot of the greats, like Joyce Carol Oates and Flannery O'Connor, and so couldn't be as iron-clad of a rule as some people think it is (but I didn't exactly know how to articulate why this was so, or why it worked). Anyway, it's good stuff and worth reading.

Show, Don't Tell -- Exposed!

Why I Hate Sleep

I know this is probably an unpopular thing to admit, but I pretty much hate sleeping, and always have.

Here's the story of my life (and last night):

1) 11:30ish PM - Feel bored, pick up Kindle, start reading book that seemed promising. Expect to read for 30 min or so before bed.
2) 12:30ish - Captain Nemo goes to bed.
3) Check the clock. 1:30. The story is too good!! Can't ... stop ... reading!!! Maybe I can finish it. Or at least get to a place where I can stand to put it down (it was really good).
4) 2:30 Still not done with the book, maybe 3/4ths of the way done. Realize that I want something to read tomorrow, anyway. Crawl into bed beside a grumpy, freshly awakened CN. Think about story. Mental squeeing commences.
5) Decide my current WIP (in edits now) needs more sexy, more spark, something to elevate it to the level of the book I'm squeeing about. Begin brainstorming as an effort to fall asleep (bad move, btw).
6) 3:30ish - bathroom!
7) 4? Can't look at the clock at this point ... come up with an amazing idea for WIP, decide to rewrite a large portion of the beginning, get extremely excited, give up on sleep for entire night.
8) Realize sleep is probably important.
9) Lie in bed cursing the need for sleep, long to write.
10) Finally drift off, wake up around 9 feeling like death.
11) Don't get out of bed for a long time.

Seriously, either I'm reading a great book that keeps me up half the night, or I'm brainstorming a great idea (why do almost all my great ideas come at 1:30 in the morning?) that won't let go of my imagination. Or I'm bored. I get really bored trying to go to sleep (which inevitably leads to 1) reading or 2) thinking about story ideas).

I haven't had a night's rest where I walk into the bedroom, lie down on the bed, shut my eyes, and fall asleep as simple as that in YEARS. (Quite possibly never, if you discount the week I was doing 10 hours of hard physical labor a day renovating our house before we moved in.) I couldn't believe the sleep I was getting that week. But unfortunately, writing does NOT count as hard physical labor, and working out doesn't seem to make that up in the sleep department.

So ... I know sleep feels nice, and is sort of necessary for sanity and survival. But I hate it.

Also, I'm really sleepy right now.

A Few Introductions

Folks, I've had this blog almost a year now, and I have never properly introduced my family! I'm remedying this problem immediately.

Note: Everyone is of course protected by clever aliases, because ALIASES ARE COOL.

I'll begin with the human...

Captain Nemo

Like a ninja, Captain Nemo is hard to photograph.

Favorite Human Food: Chicken
Theme Song: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
Characteristic Moment: Sleeptalking while insisting he's awake (the trick is to ask a question that requires an answer other than yes or no. If he replies "because I've lost all my teeth" or some other nonsense in an irritated, DUH tone of voice, you know he's sleeping).
Comments: Captain Nemo is very cheerful when awake, and a grumpy grizzly when asleep. Unfortunately, he spends much time sleeping during my most wakeful hours, 10 PM-2 AM.
Further Comments: In addition to looking handsome, bringing home the bacon, and pwning noobs online, Captain Nemo formats my ebooks and keeps me supplied with ice cream cake. He's a good man.

The Gray Lady

One of her favorite places.

Favorite Human Food: Bread
Theme Song: Eye of the Tiger

Sink kitty!

Characteristic Moment: Sitting in the sink, falling into the bathtub (she has a water obsession), catching nasty roaches and proudly bringing them to the bedroom.
Favorite Thing: Being brushed. 
Comments: I don't know if you can see how fat she is in this picture, but she's a TUBBY little girl.
Further Comments: The Gray Lady is Captain Nemo's favorite.
Even Further Comments: The Momma does not have favorites, because she is a good parent.

Foxcat

Stealing the limelight from his sister-cat.

Favorite Human Food: Milk, Chicken, Fish, Steak, Pasta, Yogurt, etc (All food, really. Anything he can get his greedy little paws on...)
Theme Song: Shake Your Tail Feather
Characteristic Moment: Incessant begging for food. Being put in the garage so everyone else can have some peace and quiet while they eat. Also, sleeping.
Least Favorite Thing: Being brushed.
Comments: Captain Nemo has a love/hate relationship with Foxcat,* who is mostly a Momma's boy. Personally, I don't know how anybody could hate such a beautiful little kitten. But I will admit I'm slightly biased.
Further Comments: Foxcat is only about 9 months old, and he already towers over his full-grown sister-cat. Such a big, fluffy boy :-)

*I suspect this is due to the fact that Foxcat tends to puke on his shirts.

Shake your tail feather

Well, that's my family! As you can see, I like taking pictures of the baby kitties. :-) :-)

Tagged!

Last week I was tagged by the very cool Emily White, so now it's my turn to play this game and tag some bloggers of my own. MY APOLOGIES if you've already been tagged. I know some of you are very popular. :-)

Oh, first I have to answer some weird questions.

Do you think you’re hot?

Well, this is awkward. Ummmm I'm not sure. I guess not really. But occasionally I'll be all dolled up in some little black dress and I'll be like, THERE IT IS. 

So--occasionally?

(I just looked through my pictures for some photo evidence I might present about my presumed hotness, but didn't find anything that didn't make me say "meh." So probably not.)

Moving on ...

Upload a picture or wallpaper you are using at the moment.

FULL DISCLOSURE--I just changed the background so I could upload it as this. The previous one came with my computer. It was some anime thing. I was getting tired of it anyway. I took this pic at my cousin-in-law's wedding. She got married on deck over a river.

When was the last time you ate chicken meat?

Sunday afternoon, at Chipotle's, on my amazing burrito. It was delish.

The song you listened to recently?

Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall. It's one of my favorites.

What were you thinking about as you were doing this?

I was thinking about a scene in one of my WIPs. Also in the interest of full disclosure, this blog post ;-)

Do you have nicknames?

I do. Kate is a nickname, and I've also been called Zoe (long story). My brother-in-law and his wife call me Exaggerakatie, because they say I tell lies. (Like Emily Dickinson, I tell the truth, but I tell it slant ...)

Tag Five Blogger Friends!

Here’s five people whose awesome blogs I follow:

Veronica Roth
Jaimie Teekell
Candace Ganger (Candyland)
Tricia Williams
Wordplay (KM Weiland)

Who’s listed as number 1?

Veronica Roth. If you aren't following her blog, you should be. She's amazing! Also, go buy her book, Divergent!

Leave a lovey dovey message for number 2

Jaimie is awesome. We met online at least a year ago, maybe a year and a half ... ? I forget how long it's been. She knew my brother in college, and he saw that she was writing a YA novel, and he was like, "My sister is also writing a YA novel," and he gave her my twitter handle, and the rest is history. We critique each others' work and we whine and commiserate together about writing stuff. It's great.

How did you get to know number 3?

I first encountered Candace Ganger's blog when she was having this awesomesauce contest (from which I won two prizes, I might add, one of which was a 3 chapter critique from the lovely Beth Revis. *name-dropping*). She is irreverent, hilarious, and really cool. 

How about number 4?

I just met Tricia, technically, because I bought her book Wasteland for my Kindle and then I had to follow her blog because 1) I'm really enjoying the book and 2) we seem to have a good bit in common. 

PS ~ Her book is really good.

Say something about number 5:

If you aren't following Wordplay, YOU SHOULD BE. I love this blog. KM Weiland is a genius, and she has so many good tips for writers. She's super sweet, too.

Your turn!

If I tagged you, feel free to play along.

This is what some people think being a writer is like:

The stereotype:

"I totally flew here in my private jet, guys."

The reality:

"It's been at least three days since I've been outside."

Oh, the glamor of being a writer :-)

Why Writers Are So Antisocial

The Five Stages of Writing a Book

1. The Idea


One of the most magical times for the writer, the idea phase can include daydreaming, staring off into space, goofy smiles, and ecstatic babbling to friends and family. The writer is hopeful, confident, and convinced that this idea is THE. BEST. IDEA. EVER.

No, seriously.

2. Writing

 Now the rubber meets the road, and it usually isn't pretty. There are sleepless nights, screams of frustration, and occasionally entire ice cream cakes consumed. Some writers grimly park themselves in front of the keyboard and type until they have met their word count goals, while other writers employ brilliant strategies of procrastination, like cleaning the garage or mopping the floor or working on other writing projects. Somehow, painfully, the book is written.

3. Editing

Although complete, the book is inevitably a disgusting mess of run-on sentences splattered with adverbs and dripping with excessive similes. The writer must now take a knife to the precious manuscript, ruthlessly killing his or her darlings with the stoicism of a Roman soldier. More ice cream cake is consumed.




4. Self Doubt

This stage may actually appear during many of the other stages. In this stage, the writer may lie on the floor and moan, curl in a fetal position, or obsessively search Monster.com for alternative jobs. Self doubt can be particularly acute during the editing stage.

5. Bookmoon

The bookmoon stage can occur before or after editing, when the writer feels that the manuscript is complete and perfect and unlike any other manuscript ever born from a writer's sweat, tears, and over-consumption of ice cream cake. Like a honeymoon, the bookmoon is a time when the world is viewed through a glow of happiness and the illusion of perfection.The bookmoon phase often lasts until querying begins.

When it melts like cotton candy in the sun.


At this point the writer may feel somewhat disillusioned. She realizes the story is not the most special story ever written. It may not even be brilliant. Just good. Maybe even just good enough. She comes to terms with this, and moves on. She feels mature, grounded, and worldly-wise.

And then, the writer gets ANOTHER idea ...

And it's the BEST. IDEA. EVER.

Tips for Staying Focused on Your Writing

1.       Turn on computer.

2.       Open book file.

3.       Stare at blank page for a while.

4.       Check email JUST IN CASE an agent has emailed you begging to represent you.

5.       Check Twitter because YOU NEVER KNOW if @JKRowling has replied to you.

6.       Check Blogger because MAYBE?? your following has quadrupled since last night.

7.       Check CNN to see if pigs have started flying.

8.       Unfortunately, pigs still aren’t flying.

9.       Repeat steps 3-6. Twice.

10.   Write 1 sentence.

11.   Delete it.

12.   Write another sentence.

13.   Take a break and make moaning sounds while holding your head in a fetal position tell yourself you can do this.

14.   Get a drink of water.

15.   Scour youtube for videos of sheep fainting the internet for inspiration.

16.   Return to your word document.

17.   Count number of words written.

18.   Total word count: 11

19.   Decide you are going to be a physical therapist or something equally random instead of a writer.

20.   Eat ice cream cake.

21.   Feel better.

22.   Try again.

23.   And again.

24.   And AGAIN.

And again and again and again. Until you have a book.

(I don't always have this problem, FORTUNATELY! But some days I just. can't. write. a. word.)

Do you know the feeling?

The New Motto Around Here

My Latin may be a bit rusty, but I'm fully fluent in AWESOME. Take that, zombies!

Did I mention I'm Team Unicorn?

Definitions

Bookmoon
--noun

Bookmooning

1. a period of euphoria following the completion of a WIP, during which the author feels that nothing has or could ever be as perfect as the finished manuscript.
2. an unrealistic adoration of an author for her book.
3. the glow an author experiences after editing and before being critiqued/rejected by betas, reviewers, or agents.

Origin:
a mashup of the words honeymoon and book, created by me to describe the weird, giddy, almost obsessive love authors can experience for their precious manuscripts.

--Related forms
bookmooning, verb

--Synonyms
love, obsession.

--Antonyms
pessimism, realism.