Procrastination

My life right now whenever I go to a cafe or library to write...

Ask Me Questions!

On Tuesday I visited a school and spoke to several classes of 8th grade students about writing. They asked me lots of questions, some of which were adorably hilarious (my favorite: what's your plan for the zombie appcalypse?"), and it gave me an idea.

I would love it if you guys would submit some questions for me that I can answer on the blog. You can email them to me at kellisonwrites@gmail.com or you can just post them in the comments. Then I can spend some time responding in a few subsequent blog posts. I think it'll be fun! They can be silly, creative, or serious. They can be about writing or just life in general. I don't know if I'll answer every question (haven't decided yet), but I think this could be fun.

So ask me some questions, readers and friends!

I Am A Dork

SPOILER ALERT: This post spoils a 60-year-old movie, ya'll ;-) So be forewarned.

So, this might be news to some of you guys, but... I am kind of a dork.

Case in point--I was hanging out with these people who are all about 25% cooler than me, and they were teasing our mutual friend because he was irritated over an article spoiling the plot point of a movie that is at least ten years old (but he's never gotten around to seeing yet).

I joined in the fun.

See, I like to think I'm like Lorelai Gilmore or something, snapping out these pithy pop culture references a mile a minute. But when I try to do that, usually this happens:

If life ever needed a hashtag, it's now. #fail

I have also accidentally referred to David Bowie as Jim Bowie, as in the Alamo guy.

I know it in my head, but it just comes out wrong.

Do you ever have any dorky moments of #fail?

PS ~ Captain Nemo looked over my shoulder while I was writing this, saw the first picture, and said, "Hon, it's ROSEBUD."

Me: "Yes, I know..." *sigh*

I Think My Family Is Tired of This Speech

Every time I hear someone say that the book is always better than the movie, I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying this:

Romeo + Jane Eyre = Major Literary Shenanigans, People!

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

It's Valentine's Day, the day we come together as a culture with our significant others, friends, or family to celebrate love, romance, red and pink balloons, and all the other glitzy lures of this Hallmark holiday. (Or, if you're cheap frugal like Captain Nemo and me, you might be celebrating Valentine's Day on WEDNESDAY because that is when all the chocolate is on sale and the restaurants are less crowded).

Anyway, in honor of all this February 14th lovefestery, I thought I'd play a little game. I saw this idea on BookRiot a month or so ago, and then again yesterday someone brought up the subject on KindleBoards. It's...

Fictional Character Mashups, baby!

It's pretty simple. Take a character, any character, and pair them with another character from a completely different book. Explain your reasoning about why you think they'd make a good match. You aren't limited to the same time period or genre, either. It's fun!

I thought I'd pick some literary characters and play match-maker! I've even included obnoxious helpful shipper names for you guys!
 
Sydney Carton (A Tale of Two Cities) and Emma Woodhouse (Emma), AKA Symma

Symma!

Sydney Carton was one of my first literary crushes. He is handsome, brilliant, clever, caustic, and desperately in need of love. I wept like a baby at the end of ATOTC when I read it in high school, and I think it's high time Sydney found some love. He loved Lucie, but I never really cared for her--she was a little too much "conventional sweetness and happy homemaking" for my taste. I think he needs a woman with a little fire, someone as sharp and clever as he is, someone who will appreciate his intelligence while also inspiring a little gentleness in him. Emma is clever and snarky while still being a bit of a "girly girl," which I have a feeling Sydney likes given his attraction to Lucie. I think they could really enjoy each other's company.

Alternate option: Elizabeth Bennet, AKA Syzabeth (those Austen ladies... what can I say?)


Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games) and Valek (Poison Study), AKA Katlek 

Who (besides Peeta and Gale) do you think would make a good match for this fearless heroine? She's tough as nails and capable of taking care of herself, but I think she needs someone who could be a good partner for her, equal to her strength and skills. She also probably needs someone who can deal with the fact that she's been through so much, plus gracefully handle her celebrity status. I think Valek fits well because he is clever and ruthless like her, but her fierce love for her family would probably soften him a little. Since Valek was a former assassin, Katniss won't have to take care of him in dangerous situations, and as the right-hand man for the Commander of Ixia, he won't be star-struck by her fame, either. Win-win situation.

Romeo (Romeo and Juliet) and Jane Eyre (Jane Eyre), AKA Jomeo

Okay, this might seem like an odd pairing. But I've always felt that Juliet was disappointingly passive. Rather than run away with her new husband that she's secretly married, she stays with her family while he is banished and then FAKES HER OWN DEATH rather than fess up to to her 'rents that she's been, well, previously claimed. I can't say that I really blame the girl, given her age, the time, and the circumstances, but... I think Romeo might have benefited from a slightly more stalwart lady. And Jane is pretty spunky in a way that doesn't completely defy all convention, AKA she's clever, so she'd be totally sneaky about it too. I can totally see her climbing down that balcony to Romeo and running off with him under the cover of night.

Harry Potter (Harry Potter) and Katarina Bishop (Heist Society), AKA Karry

Okay, I know what you're thinking. This list is getting more and more ridiculous. But admit it. Harry falling for a muggle would really throw a wrench into things. Would it even work? I confess I'd really love to find out. And Kat is no ordinary muggle, either. She's a brilliant thief--practically magical. She's smart, spunky, and cool during a crisis. And if you're dating the Boy Who Lived, that last quality is a MUST.

Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) and Huck Finn (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn), AKA Hanne (with an "e")

Shut up, people. They would be AMAZING together. She's totally the spunky dreamer, and he's the scruffy bad-boy who would probably find himself simultaneously repelled and fascinated by her. It WORKS.

TEAM HANNE WITH AN E.

Somebody needs to make me a .gif with that, STAT.


Happy Valentine's Day, folks!


--------------------
 PS


(upon reading the draft of this post)

Captain Nemo: I think you've used the word "spunky" to describe every girl on this list.

Me: Duh. That's because SPUNKY LADIES ARE THE BEST!!

This Always Happens To Me...

A lifetime of reading, and yet somehow I've never learned to not start a book before bed.

My sleep schedule hates me.

How Some People Think Books Are Written

I swear, I spend more time changing stuff and doing stuff over than anything else combined... but I guess before I can write the book, sometimes I have to figure out what it's not.

PS ~ If you haven't entered to win a SIGNED copy of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, you can do so here! Giveaway ends Tuesday, January 31st!

The Weird Parts of YouTube

Of course I am ALWAYS a diligent, dedicated author and I always work very hard and never procrastinate.

*cough*

But SOMETIMES I like to waste time on YouTube. And then this happens...

YOUTUBE: A SAGA

Or, Faces You Make While Watching YouTube

A Musical

(not really)

I am bored. I think I'll browse cute videos on YouTube.

*CLICK*

Aw, a cute kitty doing something cute.

*CLICK*

Double the kitties! Double the cute!!

*CLICK*

Can't... handle... the... cute!! MOAR, I say, MOAR CUTE!

*CLICK*

I've been *RICKROLLED* ? ...Very funny, internet.

 *CLICK*

Back to the cuteness... Oh, what is this a video of?

*CLICK*

That was not cute. That was... painful looking... What is this "weirdest thing ever" video?

*CLICK*

Is that Photoshopped? Please tell me that is Photoshopped...

*CLICK*

IS THAT AN ALIEN???


*CLICK*

GIANT CRABS ARE REAL?? THESE THINGS EXIST???

WHAT IS SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN...!

Congrats, YouTube. You have broken my brain.

Has anybody else every gotten lost in the weird part of YouTube?

It is scaaaaarry...

Why I Hate Sleep

I know this is probably an unpopular thing to admit, but I pretty much hate sleeping, and always have.

Here's the story of my life (and last night):

1) 11:30ish PM - Feel bored, pick up Kindle, start reading book that seemed promising. Expect to read for 30 min or so before bed.
2) 12:30ish - Captain Nemo goes to bed.
3) Check the clock. 1:30. The story is too good!! Can't ... stop ... reading!!! Maybe I can finish it. Or at least get to a place where I can stand to put it down (it was really good).
4) 2:30 Still not done with the book, maybe 3/4ths of the way done. Realize that I want something to read tomorrow, anyway. Crawl into bed beside a grumpy, freshly awakened CN. Think about story. Mental squeeing commences.
5) Decide my current WIP (in edits now) needs more sexy, more spark, something to elevate it to the level of the book I'm squeeing about. Begin brainstorming as an effort to fall asleep (bad move, btw).
6) 3:30ish - bathroom!
7) 4? Can't look at the clock at this point ... come up with an amazing idea for WIP, decide to rewrite a large portion of the beginning, get extremely excited, give up on sleep for entire night.
8) Realize sleep is probably important.
9) Lie in bed cursing the need for sleep, long to write.
10) Finally drift off, wake up around 9 feeling like death.
11) Don't get out of bed for a long time.

Seriously, either I'm reading a great book that keeps me up half the night, or I'm brainstorming a great idea (why do almost all my great ideas come at 1:30 in the morning?) that won't let go of my imagination. Or I'm bored. I get really bored trying to go to sleep (which inevitably leads to 1) reading or 2) thinking about story ideas).

I haven't had a night's rest where I walk into the bedroom, lie down on the bed, shut my eyes, and fall asleep as simple as that in YEARS. (Quite possibly never, if you discount the week I was doing 10 hours of hard physical labor a day renovating our house before we moved in.) I couldn't believe the sleep I was getting that week. But unfortunately, writing does NOT count as hard physical labor, and working out doesn't seem to make that up in the sleep department.

So ... I know sleep feels nice, and is sort of necessary for sanity and survival. But I hate it.

Also, I'm really sleepy right now.